38、Shyness is the cause of much unhappiness for a great many people. Shy people are anxious and self-conscious; that is, they are excessively concerned with their own appearance and actions. Worrisome thoughts are constantly occurring in their minds: what kind of impression am I making? Do they like me? Do I sound stupid? Am I wearing unattractive clothes?
It is obvious that such uncomfortable feelings must negatively affect people. A person’s conception of himself or herself is reflected in the way he or she behaves, and the way a person behaves affects other people’s reactions. In general, the way people think about themselves has a profound effect on all areas of their lives.
Shy people, having low self-esteem, are likely to be passive and easily influenced by others. They need reassurance that they are doing “the right thing.” Shy people are very sensitive to criticism; they feel it confirms their feelings of inferiority. They also find it difficult to be pleased by compliment with a statement like this one, “You’re just saying that to make me feel good. I know it’s not true.” It is clear that while self-awareness is a healthy quality, overdoing it is harmful.
Can shyness be completely eliminated, or at least reduced? Fortunately, people can overcome shyness with determined and patient efforts in building self-confidence. Since shyness goes hand in hand with a lack of self-esteem, it is important for people to accept their weaknesses as well as their strengths.
Each one of us is a unique, worthwhile individual, interested in our own personal ways. The better we understand ourselves, the easier it becomes to live up to our full potential. Let’s not allow shyness to block our chances for a rich and fulfilling life.